Hey all :)
I just wanted to stop in and write a quick blog - I’ve got nothing else to do! So, lately I’ve had a question just floating in the air, and it is still unanswered, but I’m hoping for something positive. Things seem to be looking up for me right now, but I can’t tell if I’m dreaming or not. I mean, usually when I think something is finally going right, it takes another turn. I’ll stay positive, definitely, but sometimes it’s hard to tell whats real and what it isn’t. You know? I’m moving 6 hours away from my immediately family and it didn’t bother me at first, but I’m really going to miss them. Been rooming with my brother and sister (all the same age), and we’ve finally decided to go our separate ways. I guess its hard to let go, but eventually I need to venture out on my own. I’m not afraid of what comes next.. I’m just afraid I won’t succeed. But again, I’m staying positive. Only time will tell what the future holds.
Not sure which way to go. There are so many things I want to do, but can’t. Even if I could, I’m not sure it’d be the right thing. So, what do I do? Close my eyes and start walking, or decide what I think is best? It’s hard when you don’t know. I guess that’s why I should have faith and trust whatever happens. I do most of the time, it’s just getting hard to do that lately. You don’t want to disappoint others whichever way you choose to go, or with the decisions you make, but I guess doing what I think is best for myself is what matters in the long run.
- - Write more later, someone’s knocking on my door.
could’ve had it all.
Speaks for itself, but, I don’t really know what to do with my life.
Ok, I really need to talk right now. I don’t care if anyone listens or not. Ok, so I’m extremely tired of living in this small town. I lived here a while back, moved to Richmond (bigger city), and now I’m back here. No, that’s not how it’s supposed to be. I have really big dreams (because people always told me to dream big) and I want to reach them. I want to accomplish my goals and get where I’m supposed to be. I don’t feel like I’m supposed to be just an ordinary girl. I want to be known for something. Not in a bad way, like celebrity or anything, but I want people to know me because they can relate to me, or in any other good ways. You know? Does that make any sense? I hope. If not, oh well, at least I understand, right? Ha ha.
Here is what I want; I want to move to a bigger city where I can gain opportunities that I wouldn’t find in this teeny-tiny town. I want to improve my health and body so that I can model. I know I could do it and be successful. It’s just convincing the people in charge of that industry that you can sell. I can. I know it.
I’m not keeping these dreams inside my head. I’m chasing after them… whatever it takes.
I absolutely love to sing. A lot of people know that, but most people don’t. I love everything about music and letting yourself go free in the moment. At least, that’s how music makes me feel. There are so many songs I relate to, and I can just get lost in them. When I write my own music, I feel like I’m someone else. Like, I unleash parts of myself that I never knew existed. It’s a great feeling. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort for people to tap into the good in their soul. With me, it doesn’t take that much. I write, I sing, I feel. I want people to hear my message, and feel my pain. Most of all, I just want people to know that they’re not alone, and that they are unique and special.
I recently discovered a new artist, Jessie J. She’s an amazing artist. She’s unlike most of the musicians we here on the radio today. When I listen to her music, I feel exactly the way I do when I sing or write. I guess her music and sound makes me get lost in myself. It’s weird, but it’s like someone can be so passionate about something, and you see it in them, then realize how much you have. How grateful you should be. Sometimes it takes someone else to point out the wonderful person in you before you can truly see it in yourself.
I guess we all have things that inspire us and keep us moving. Who thought a song could lift you up and keep moving towards the light? I’m sure glad we have music in the world, and amazing artists like Jessie J to guide us and inspire us. You know, some people are scared to say how they really feel so they find someone who can say it for them. That’s ok I think, but eventually we have to learn to stand up and say the things we believe in. If you have a voice, use it. No one can ever tell you what is right or wrong to say.
I don’t know where I’m headed with this one, but I hope you feel me :). As for me, I keep everything locked inside my mind and never fully express my feelings or thoughts. Then, you get times like these when you try to make someone understand, but so much you’ve held inside starts overflowing out of your mouth, and you end up confusing people. So, I hope I haven’t done that.
To everyone, a good night [because it’s almost two in the morning]. :)
I really want someone to write to.
I’ve always loved writing, and I don’t seem to do much of it anymore.
If you want to be my pen pal, let me know! :)
I feel like I might have screwed up.. well that’s what my subconscious is telling me anyway. My heart tells me that what I’ve done is ok, and everything always works out how it should. I’ll go with what my heart thinks.
I just decided against continuing my education right now. No, it isn’t smart because if you’ve got nothing higher than a HS diploma or GED, then you might not get anywhere. Well, that’s the only thing that bothers me.. but I plan on furthering my education as soon as I figure some things out.
It’s a new year… Mentally, I’m going through a lot of hard times and changes, so I hope to deal with that as best as I can. I feel like taking a few classes that aren’t really getting me anywhere would drag me down right now. This is the second time though.. I’ve went a few days, then quit. I hate saying ‘quit’ too, because I usually never give up something I’ve started.
Like I said.. I’ve got to work on myself.. make myself better, and maybe get my priorities more in order. I’d like to think I’m a mature adult, being that I’m almost twenty years old. Well, thats that. I just needed to get it off my chest.
I don’t feel bad about choices I make, because I know there is a plan for me and my life, and this is obviously a part of it.
What’s your calling?